As part of the Festival of Bonta, Piers Boredman is proud to welcome Pouchecot, Protector of the Month of Frauguctor.It’s a first for those inhabitants of the World of Twelve who’ve never had the pleasure of being addressed by a Protector. Today, the one we call ‘The Fruitcake’ is here to tell us all about this special day with much love in his heart. And laughter...
Piers Boredman: Tucked away in the cosiest corner of the highest levels of the Krosmoz, they’ve toiled away in silence ever since Xelor bade them watch over the 12 months of the calendar. Today, we welcome somebody without whom Bonta would perhaps never have seen the light of day. I ask you to put your hands together for Pouchecot! (When Piers Boredman realises that there is nobody there to applaud as the interview takes place, an embarrassing silence prompts him to move on quickly...)
Pouchecot, in the name of all the inhabitants of the World of Twelve, let me tell you that it’s an honour to have you here. Some didn’t believe you really existed, but today, I can testify to the fact that you are really here, in flesh and bl... well, in fruit and uh... well, anyway, they can finally put a face to a name! So, how are you?
Pouchecot: Fine, thanks! Just peachy! Heh heh heh!
Piers Boredman: So, is it true what everybody says about you being such a joker? Apparently you even managed to make the Soft Oak himself crack up!
Pouchecot: You’re right, I really like to get my teeth into life! And that’s even more the case on this 3rd of Frauguctor!
Piers Boredman: Tell us a bit about what this day means to you.
Pouchecot: It brings up so many emotions... On Frauguctor the 3rd, in the year 25, Jiva, Menalt and I were building Bonta the White to go up against Brakmar the Dark. And now that that darned Rushu would no longer be cropping up like a bad apple, we could finally celebrate in style!
Piers Boredman: Speaking of demons, doesn’t it bother you that one of them got promoted into the ranks of the Protectors of the Months?
Pouchecot: I couldn’t give a fig actually. At least when he’s got his hands full with the month of Descendre, Djaul doesn’t upset the apple cart down here in the World of Twelve!
Piers Boredman: Distracting a demon to prevent him from conquering the World of Twelve is pretty sweet!
Pouchecot: Pretty swede, you mean! Ho, ho, ho!
Piers Boredman: Uh... yeah... Let’s get back to the Festival of Bonta, shall we? The folks from the World of Twelve are dying to know how you guys ‘up there’ celebrate it.
Pouchecot: Ulgrude blesses us with his powers by creating a gigantic fireworks display. Silouate uses his fiery breath to grill Gobball sausages. As for Sumens, he keeps the crowd entertained with his usual magic tricks involving precious stones...
Piers Boredman: Oh, right... Yes, that’s true... I heard about his unusual digestive abilities... And what about you? Tell us a bit about how you celebrate this special day.
Pouchecot: I cherry-pick a couple of my best gags to liven up the proceedings. And believe me, every year, the crowd goes bananas!
Piers Boredman: Trust me, I can believe it! Pouchecot, it was a pleasure to have you with us today. So, all that’s left is for me to wish you and the other Protectors of the Months a fruitful Festival of Bonta, and you too, folks of the World of Twelve!
And don’t forget, this day falls under the sign of bounty, so get ready for your dose of kindness and good intentions, words from Puliblak the Meridia himself!
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